A story of earned shame By the time I was eleven, I was starting to come out of my deep depression. My mother had moved us to a high-rise closer to town. It was a tougher neighborhood. Even school was not the haven it had once been. I began to have feelings that frightened me.… Continue reading The Thief
Tag: Blogging
And Then There Was…Sex
A history of dating. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Considering the trauma I experienced around sex in my childhood, it is no surprise that I avoided dating. Until Bradford. It was the summer before I turned 16. My sister was hanging out with a group of friends. I felt tolerated. Bradford, a year older than I, was… Continue reading And Then There Was…Sex
Overcoming Self-Injury
Caution, possible triggers ahead I There came a time when I no longer tried to kill myself. Partially, I realized it was pointless. Whatever pain and brokenness I had needed solving while I was alive. Otherwise, I would just drag it with me to the afterlife. I was going to have to become whole at… Continue reading Overcoming Self-Injury
Anchor
Learning to become my own reason for living When I was a little girl, life was so chaotic. (Check out The Beginning and The Beginning part 2) It was hard to know what to trust. Who would not obliterate me. While, granted, most of that insecurity came from careful brainwashing from my father, there was… Continue reading Anchor
Graduation Part 2
A year without therapy Well, it has been a year since I ended 14 ½ years of therapy. I worried I might fall apart. That without the support and accountability—I didn’t know whether I could stay stable on my own. The truth is, I am not on my own. I have my sister, friends, and… Continue reading Graduation Part 2
Falling Apart
My Journey Through Self Injuring Phone by Deborah Adams. Copywrite 2021 I met Chris when I was 16. He was a friend of a friend. I felt a connection unlike any I had ever felt before. I wanted to know him, to spend time with him, to matter to him. Don’t confuse the way I… Continue reading Falling Apart
More Imperfection
Troubles on the job Copyright 2021 Deborah Adams I love my job. Really, truly, honestly. I have been taking care of the same family as a part-time babysitter for almost 7 years, since the oldest child was less than a year old. I just fell into it, but it has been a great run. Still,… Continue reading More Imperfection
De-Vilifying Old Behaviors
copywrite 2020 Deborah Adams Sometimes a pint of Ben and Jerry’s is just ice cream I used to think that I was alone. I thought using food to gain some control or comfort was something that only existed on the fringes of normalcy. I felt pain, shame, and disgust over my behavior. I have an… Continue reading De-Vilifying Old Behaviors
THERAPY: CRUTCH OR CAST
Deborah Adams I have spent most of my adult life in therapy. First, as a Junior in high school. Then, when my close friend was in a car accident and almost died when I was 19. I had, for lack of a better word, a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t function. Luckily for me, the owner… Continue reading THERAPY: CRUTCH OR CAST
Imperfect
copyright Deborah AdamsI Last week I made a moderate mistake at work. I am a nanny for two little girls, 4 and 7. I had to drive the 7-year-old to her dance class at 5:15 and pick her up 45 minutes later. The only thing is, I pick her up on another day at 5:30.… Continue reading Imperfect
Winning Over Shame 