Change your language, change everything Saying I can’t do something yet, as opposed to simply saying I can’t do it, leaves a world of possibility open to me. The things I can’t do Yet are almost endless. The list I legitimately cannot do, really, is rather small. Similarly, Despite takes my current limitations, the brokenContinue reading “My Favorite Words”
Tag Archives: shame
Facing Down Shame
From here to there Certain things, even when the sting of shame has healed, remain embarrassing. Which is not all bad. Shame, in its purest form, alerts us to when we have crossed a line. Or, as is frequently true in my life, when someone else has crossed a line. Something that feels so wrongContinue reading “Facing Down Shame”
The Thief
A story of earned shame By the time I was eleven, I was starting to come out of my deep depression. My mother had moved us to a high-rise closer to town. It was a tougher neighborhood. Even school was not the haven it had once been. I began to have feelings that frightened me.Continue reading “The Thief”
And Then There Was…Sex
A history of dating. Considering the trauma I experienced around sex in my childhood, it is no surprise that I avoided dating. Until Bradford. It was the summer before I turned 16. My sister was hanging out with a group of friends. I felt tolerated. Bradford, a year older than I, was part of thatContinue reading “And Then There Was…Sex”
BALANCE
When life gives you sunshine don’t go chasing after the rain. I have what I think is my strangest problem ever. My time is overscheduled, all with things I desperately want to do. I work 20 hours a week, so what could congest my week that much? Just what I asked myself. First, there isContinue reading “BALANCE”
Anchor
Learning to become my own reason for living When I was a little girl, life was so chaotic. (Check out The Beginning and The Beginning part 2) It was hard to know what to trust. Who would not obliterate me. While, granted, most of that insecurity came from careful brainwashing from my father, there wasContinue reading “Anchor”
Graduation Part 2
A year without therapy Well, it has been a year since I ended 14 ½ years of therapy. I worried I might fall apart. That without the support and accountability—I didn’t know whether I could stay stable on my own. The truth is, I am not on my own. I have my sister, friends, andContinue reading “Graduation Part 2”
More Imperfection
Troubles on the job I love my job. Really, truly, honestly. I have been taking care of the same family as a part-time babysitter for almost 7 years, since the oldest child was less than a year old. I just fell into it, but it has been a great run. Still, over 7 years thingsContinue reading “More Imperfection”
Imperfect
Last week I made a moderate mistake at work. I am a nanny for two little girls, 4 and 7. I had to drive the 7-year-old to her dance class at 5:15 and pick her up 45 minutes later. The only thing is, I pick her up on another day at 5:30. I was havingContinue reading “Imperfect”
The Very Beginning part 2
Earlier, I wrote about when our puppies got off the screened-in porch and ate glass. Around that same time my father made of, apparently, several suicide attempts. I was 4 or 5. My mother had taken my little sister to our sitter’s house. I was in the kitchen washing dishes. One of my favorite activities.Continue reading “The Very Beginning part 2”
Winning Over Shame 