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Winning Over Shame

Overcoming sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse

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Tag: shame

Musings Of The Past

My Body’s Betrayal

December 13, 2022January 30, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

When Pain is a Source of Arousal When my father abducted me right after my 9th birthday, he had already been grooming me for at least 2 years. He left me with a group of 3 men and 2 women that I think of and refer to as THEY. They were true sadists. I do… Continue reading My Body’s Betrayal

Musings Of The Past

Color Coded Feelings

November 29, 2022January 30, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

Learning how to uncomplicated emotions There was a time, in the last decade, when I was doing EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy. We started with some simple drawing of my feelings, my inner picture of myself. We quickly realized that my perceptions of many feelings were seriously skewed. The therapist came up with… Continue reading Color Coded Feelings

Beating It Back

Random Reinforcement

November 22, 2022January 30, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

Waiting for me to get up. Copyright Debi Adams 2022 When you are training a dog, or in my case, a person, there are a variety of reinforcement techniques you can use. You can reward the dog, (or me as a child), every time they do something. With this, the dog, (or me as a… Continue reading Random Reinforcement

Hog-tied by shame…Not!
Musings Of The Past

Hog-tied by shame…Not!

November 15, 2022January 21, 2023 Debi2 Comments

It’s funny the things I can do when those evil voices in my head are usually silent. It is a hard won, and much appreciated silence. A silence that allowed me finally to finish my book, after 10 years of struggling to get it on the page. A lifetime reimagined and, most of the time,… Continue reading Hog-tied by shame…Not!

Beating It Back

And it Keeps Going On

November 10, 2022January 21, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

It would be nice to think getting to a point where I could forgive myself would be the end of a story. Perhaps there would be a twinge now and then, but life should be great. What I have been learning is, yes, life is great. There are moments when the life fairly glows. Most… Continue reading And it Keeps Going On

Shame
Beating It Back

Shame

November 8, 2022January 21, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I recently sent my memoir to the editor. It’s so nerve-wracking! I want feedback, yet I fear it, as well. Of course, there is some shame attached. How dare you! My inner voices are crying. That is a secret! While there are so many things that have… Continue reading Shame

Beating It Back

My Favorite Words

November 30, 2021January 21, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

Change your language, change everything Saying I can’t do something yet, as opposed to simply saying I can’t do it, leaves a world of possibility open to me. The things I can’t do Yet are almost endless. The list I legitimately cannot do, really, is rather small. Similarly, Despite takes my current limitations, the broken… Continue reading My Favorite Words

Musings Of The Past

Facing Down Shame

November 22, 2021January 21, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

From here to there Certain things, even when the sting of shame has healed, remain embarrassing. Which is not all bad. Shame, in its purest form, alerts us to when we have crossed a line. Or, as is frequently true in my life, when someone else has crossed a line. Something that feels so wrong… Continue reading Facing Down Shame

Foundations

The Thief

November 16, 2021January 20, 2023 Debi2 Comments

A story of earned shame By the time I was eleven, I was starting to come out of my deep depression. My mother had moved us to a high-rise closer to town. It was a tougher neighborhood. Even school was not the haven it had once been. I began to have feelings that frightened me.… Continue reading The Thief

Foundations

And Then There Was…Sex

November 7, 2021January 20, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

A history of dating. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Considering the trauma I experienced around sex in my childhood, it is no surprise that I avoided dating. Until Bradford. It was the summer before I turned 16. My sister was hanging out with a group of friends. I felt tolerated. Bradford, a year older than I, was… Continue reading And Then There Was…Sex

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Older posts
  • Get a taste of the book….
  • My Body’s Betrayal
  • I Will Not Fall Apart
  • Color Coded Feelings
  • Random Reinforcement

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