When Pain is a Source of Arousal When my father abducted me right after my 9th birthday, he had already been grooming me for at least 2 years. He left me with a group of 3 men and 2 women that I think of and refer to as THEY. They were true sadists. I do… Continue reading My Body’s Betrayal
Tag: therapy
Color Coded Feelings
Learning how to uncomplicated emotions There was a time, in the last decade, when I was doing EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy. We started with some simple drawing of my feelings, my inner picture of myself. We quickly realized that my perceptions of many feelings were seriously skewed. The therapist came up with… Continue reading Color Coded Feelings
BALANCE
When life gives you sunshine don't go chasing after the rain. I have what I think is my strangest problem ever. My time is overscheduled, all with things I desperately want to do. I work 20 hours a week, so what could congest my week that much? Just what I asked myself. First, there is… Continue reading BALANCE
Graduation Part 2
A year without therapy Well, it has been a year since I ended 14 ½ years of therapy. I worried I might fall apart. That without the support and accountability—I didn’t know whether I could stay stable on my own. The truth is, I am not on my own. I have my sister, friends, and… Continue reading Graduation Part 2
Falling Apart
My Journey Through Self Injuring Phone by Deborah Adams. Copywrite 2021 I met Chris when I was 16. He was a friend of a friend. I felt a connection unlike any I had ever felt before. I wanted to know him, to spend time with him, to matter to him. Don’t confuse the way I… Continue reading Falling Apart
THERAPY: CRUTCH OR CAST
Deborah Adams I have spent most of my adult life in therapy. First, as a Junior in high school. Then, when my close friend was in a car accident and almost died when I was 19. I had, for lack of a better word, a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t function. Luckily for me, the owner… Continue reading THERAPY: CRUTCH OR CAST
Graduation
Today I said goodbye to Jonna, my therapist of 14 ½ years (halves are always important to me). I had four weeks of notice. Not a lot of time to wrap up all the loose ends. I thought I would be devastated. I thought I might break down and cry. Certainly, there were nights in… Continue reading Graduation
Prelude to Willingness
Prelude to Willingness (written 2018) I have been in therapy since my junior year in high school, off and on. Well, more on than off. This incarnation I have been with my therapist for over twelve years. By far the most time I have worked with anyone. Which was great, because it allowed me to start getting… Continue reading Prelude to Willingness
Winning Over Shame 