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Winning Over Shame

Getting past a lifetime of pain to become a "Real Girl"

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Tag: true stories about abuse

Musings Of The Past

My Body’s Betrayal

December 13, 2022January 30, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

When Pain is a Source of Arousal When my father abducted me right after my 9th birthday, he had already been grooming me for at least 2 years. He left me with a group of 3 men and 2 women that I think of and refer to as THEY. They were true sadists. I do… Continue reading My Body’s Betrayal

Beating It Back

Random Reinforcement

November 22, 2022January 30, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

Waiting for me to get up. Copyright Debi Adams 2022 When you are training a dog, or in my case, a person, there are a variety of reinforcement techniques you can use. You can reward the dog, (or me as a child), every time they do something. With this, the dog, (or me as a… Continue reading Random Reinforcement

Hog-tied by shame…Not!
Musings Of The Past

Hog-tied by shame…Not!

November 15, 2022January 21, 2023 Debi2 Comments

It’s funny the things I can do when those evil voices in my head are usually silent. It is a hard won, and much appreciated silence. A silence that allowed me finally to finish my book, after 10 years of struggling to get it on the page. A lifetime reimagined and, most of the time,… Continue reading Hog-tied by shame…Not!

Musings Of The Past

Facing Down Shame

November 22, 2021January 21, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

From here to there Certain things, even when the sting of shame has healed, remain embarrassing. Which is not all bad. Shame, in its purest form, alerts us to when we have crossed a line. Or, as is frequently true in my life, when someone else has crossed a line. Something that feels so wrong… Continue reading Facing Down Shame

Foundations

The Thief

November 16, 2021January 20, 2023 Debi2 Comments

A story of earned shame By the time I was eleven, I was starting to come out of my deep depression. My mother had moved us to a high-rise closer to town. It was a tougher neighborhood. Even school was not the haven it had once been. I began to have feelings that frightened me.… Continue reading The Thief

Beating It Back

BALANCE

November 1, 2021January 20, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

When life gives you sunshine don't go chasing after the rain. I have what I think is my strangest problem ever. My time is overscheduled, all with things I desperately want to do. I work 20 hours a week, so what could congest my week that much? Just what I asked myself. First, there is… Continue reading BALANCE

Beating It Back

Graduation Part 2

October 4, 2021January 20, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

A year without therapy Well, it has been a year since I ended 14 ½ years of therapy. I worried I might fall apart. That without the support and accountability—I didn’t know whether I could stay stable on my own. The truth is, I am not on my own. I have my sister, friends, and… Continue reading Graduation Part 2

Foundations

Tackling Shame

September 21, 2020January 17, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

copy write Deborah Adams Every time I have taken a step forward toward shame, it has felt impossible. Group was a good example of that. I was good at giving feedback to others. I excelled at remembering the details of the problems of the other members, so I could pull together what they were going… Continue reading Tackling Shame

Beating It Back

Graduation

September 15, 2020January 17, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

Today I said goodbye to Jonna, my therapist of 14 ½ years (halves are always important to me). I had four weeks of notice. Not a lot of time to wrap up all the loose ends. I thought I would be devastated. I thought I might break down and cry. Certainly, there were nights in… Continue reading Graduation

Beating It Back

Willingness

September 15, 2020January 17, 2023 DebiLeave a comment

Why willingness? For several years I had the good fortune to be part of a wonderful weekly support group. Over time, I realized that I was resisting making the very changes I desired. Although I desired that change, there was something that I was not ready to give up. I wanted my life to be… Continue reading Willingness

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Older posts
  • My Body’s Betrayal
  • I Will Not Fall Apart
  • Color Coded Feelings
  • Random Reinforcement
  • And Now, Something Totally Different

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