A story of earned shame By the time I was eleven, I was starting to come out of my deep depression. My mother had moved us to a high-rise closer to town. It was a tougher neighborhood. Even school was not the haven it had once been. I began to have feelings that frightened me.… Continue reading The Thief
Category: Foundations
And Then There Was…Sex
A history of dating. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Considering the trauma I experienced around sex in my childhood, it is no surprise that I avoided dating. Until Bradford. It was the summer before I turned 16. My sister was hanging out with a group of friends. I felt tolerated. Bradford, a year older than I, was… Continue reading And Then There Was…Sex
Anchor
Learning to become my own reason for living When I was a little girl, life was so chaotic. (Check out The Beginning and The Beginning part 2) It was hard to know what to trust. Who would not obliterate me. While, granted, most of that insecurity came from careful brainwashing from my father, there was… Continue reading Anchor
Falling Apart
My Journey Through Self Injuring Phone by Deborah Adams. Copywrite 2021 I met Chris when I was 16. He was a friend of a friend. I felt a connection unlike any I had ever felt before. I wanted to know him, to spend time with him, to matter to him. Don’t confuse the way I… Continue reading Falling Apart
The Very Beginning part 2
Copywriter: Deborah Adams Earlier, I wrote about when our puppies got off the screened-in porch and ate glass. Around that same time my father made of, apparently, several suicide attempts. I was 4 or 5. My mother had taken my little sister to our sitter’s house. I was in the kitchen washing dishes. One of my… Continue reading The Very Beginning part 2
Tackling Shame
copy write Deborah Adams Every time I have taken a step forward toward shame, it has felt impossible. Group was a good example of that. I was good at giving feedback to others. I excelled at remembering the details of the problems of the other members, so I could pull together what they were going… Continue reading Tackling Shame
The very beginning
The beginning of Shame When I was four years old our family dog had a litter of puppies. They were these cute, snuggly fur balls. It was so much fun to play with them. They stayed in our screened in porch off the kitchen. One morning I woke up early. I was eager to play with the puppies,… Continue reading The very beginning
Taken
Although there were plenty of things that happened in-between, next I am going to tackle the biggest contributor to my toxic shame- being taken.