Look at the awesome pod cast I was interviewed on. I am so happy to share this interview with all of you. "These Fukken Feelings Podcast" is the real deal. They confront the feelings and ideas so many people fear. Please watch it, and let me know what you think. You are welcome to share… Continue reading Holy Smoke
Author: Debi
I came upon shame naturally, I suppose. Before I was five I had experienced
*finding my father during a suicide attempt
*feeling responsible for the death of our puppies
*Hearing my mother take a beating from my beloved father that had been aimed at me
*being abandoned at a shopping mall
All of those lead me to believe that I was fundamentally wrong. That I should not exist.
As an adult I fell I to an open marriage and swinging.
It was years after my divorce before I started to attack my memories. Although I was determined to find a way through the pain it was agonizingly slow.
Today I consider myself healed from many of the things that I experienced .
In this blog I will go back and forth. Exploring the past and expressing how I got free.
Shame is agonizing, though some of it is good, natural. Otherwise, we would be sociopaths, able to manipulate others and only looking out for ourselves.
Today I live winning over shame.
Blessed; Yet Still Depressed
Holding opposite feelings in the holiday season. There is so much good happening in my life right now. Even things that seem bad are working toward a happy trajectory. To have this undercurrent of a heavy weight pulling me down is so hard. It’s not that this feeling is entirely new. It is just that… Continue reading Blessed; Yet Still Depressed
Anniversary Reactions
Preparing for the probable storm. Copyright Deborah Adams 2023. Close up of a very unhappy pug (This post was written over a month ago. I was feeling small and vulnerable. I felt that no one could relate. Thank you to a friend who urged me to post anyway) I don’t believe anyone comes out of… Continue reading Anniversary Reactions
Daddy Crushes
The excruciating embarrassment of longing for a paternal figure My “First” Daddy My blog and my book expose so much of my father’s abuse. Yet I still loved him, needed him. For most of my life, I focused my need, reasonably enough, on him. Even during the first 10 years when I did not speak… Continue reading Daddy Crushes
Some More About My Book
From the back cover of Winning Over Shame--Overcoming Sexual, Emotional, and Psychological Abuse Are you ready to release the shame you hold because of someone else’s sins? This book can help. Winning Over Shame follows the life of Debi Adams. From unrelenting sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse as a child to a 12-year relationship that… Continue reading Some More About My Book
Sneak Peek–Get Your Free Coping Box Here
Click Here Get one of my primary coping skills for emotional overwhelm. This kit will walk you through putting together an actual box of items to trigger your senses and other skills. Whether you need grounding or energizing, this will help you regain control.
I Am More Than My Diagnosis.
Why I no longer allow the labels of chronic pain, CPTSD, and Bipolar to define me. copyright 2023 Deborah Adams When it all started I was 20 when I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was the late 80s, a time of being proud of your mental illness. They urged us to embrace it.… Continue reading I Am More Than My Diagnosis.
Three Grooves In My Mind
On making a high-stake decision. My Situation: Have you ever had the experience of reacting without thinking? I believe there are grooves in my mind. They are old, ingrained habits. Those habits pop up under stress. You know, those times you don’t have the energy to think through your reactions. I was recently told by… Continue reading Three Grooves In My Mind
My Mother, my Monster; My Mother, my Friend.
Expectations, for good or for bad, can make all the difference. Not loved for who I am When I was a child, my mother was not the warm and cuddly type. By the time I was 3 or 4, I realized she would not keep me safe in the world. As I shared in my… Continue reading My Mother, my Monster; My Mother, my Friend.
Feelings Phobia
When emotions are so huge you've got to push them All down For years, I defined myself as phobic of emotional pain. Even the hint that the pain lay ahead was enough to make me mentally run away. I lost far too much time being dissociated. Like any proper phobia, just thinking about confronting it… Continue reading Feelings Phobia
Winning Over Shame 