It would be nice to think getting to a point where I could forgive myself would be the end of a story. Perhaps there would be a twinge now and then, but life should be great. What I have been learning is, yes, life is great. There are moments when the life fairly glows. Most… Continue reading And it Keeps Going On
Tag: survivor
Shame
So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I recently sent my memoir to the editor. It’s so nerve-wracking! I want feedback, yet I fear it, as well. Of course, there is some shame attached. How dare you! My inner voices are crying. That is a secret! While there are so many things that have… Continue reading Shame
Facing Down Shame
From here to there Certain things, even when the sting of shame has healed, remain embarrassing. Which is not all bad. Shame, in its purest form, alerts us to when we have crossed a line. Or, as is frequently true in my life, when someone else has crossed a line. Something that feels so wrong… Continue reading Facing Down Shame
The Thief
A story of earned shame By the time I was eleven, I was starting to come out of my deep depression. My mother had moved us to a high-rise closer to town. It was a tougher neighborhood. Even school was not the haven it had once been. I began to have feelings that frightened me.… Continue reading The Thief
And Then There Was…Sex
A history of dating. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Considering the trauma I experienced around sex in my childhood, it is no surprise that I avoided dating. Until Bradford. It was the summer before I turned 16. My sister was hanging out with a group of friends. I felt tolerated. Bradford, a year older than I, was… Continue reading And Then There Was…Sex
BALANCE
When life gives you sunshine don't go chasing after the rain. I have what I think is my strangest problem ever. My time is overscheduled, all with things I desperately want to do. I work 20 hours a week, so what could congest my week that much? Just what I asked myself. First, there is… Continue reading BALANCE
Overcoming Self-Injury
Caution, possible triggers ahead I There came a time when I no longer tried to kill myself. Partially, I realized it was pointless. Whatever pain and brokenness I had needed solving while I was alive. Otherwise, I would just drag it with me to the afterlife. I was going to have to become whole at… Continue reading Overcoming Self-Injury
Imperfect
copyright Deborah AdamsI Last week I made a moderate mistake at work. I am a nanny for two little girls, 4 and 7. I had to drive the 7-year-old to her dance class at 5:15 and pick her up 45 minutes later. The only thing is, I pick her up on another day at 5:30.… Continue reading Imperfect
Willingness
Why willingness? For several years I had the good fortune to be part of a wonderful weekly support group. Over time, I realized that I was resisting making the very changes I desired. Although I desired that change, there was something that I was not ready to give up. I wanted my life to be… Continue reading Willingness
Prelude to Willingness
Prelude to Willingness (written 2018) I have been in therapy since my junior year in high school, off and on. Well, more on than off. This incarnation I have been with my therapist for over twelve years. By far the most time I have worked with anyone. Which was great, because it allowed me to start getting… Continue reading Prelude to Willingness
Winning Over Shame 