On making a high-stake decision. My Situation: Have you ever had the experience of reacting without thinking? I believe there are grooves in my mind. They are old, ingrained habits. Those habits pop up under stress. You know, those times you don’t have the energy to think through your reactions. I was recently told by… Continue reading Three Grooves In My Mind
Tag: therapy
Feelings Phobia
When emotions are so huge you've got to push them All down For years, I defined myself as phobic of emotional pain. Even the hint that the pain lay ahead was enough to make me mentally run away. I lost far too much time being dissociated. Like any proper phobia, just thinking about confronting it… Continue reading Feelings Phobia
So, Debi, You Wrote a Book…
Why you want to read "Winning Over Shame--Overcoming Sexual, Emotional, and Psychological abuse. If you enjoy the articles on this blog, I believe you will gain much from reading the book. It covers my early childhood in more detail. It also follows me as I grew up saddled with the pain and shame of the… Continue reading So, Debi, You Wrote a Book…
My Body’s Betrayal
When Pain is a Source of Arousal When my father abducted me right after my 9th birthday, he had already been grooming me for at least 2 years. He left me with a group of 3 men and 2 women that I think of and refer to as THEY. They were true sadists. I do… Continue reading My Body’s Betrayal
Color Coded Feelings
Learning how to uncomplicated emotions There was a time, in the last decade, when I was doing EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy. We started with some simple drawing of my feelings, my inner picture of myself. We quickly realized that my perceptions of many feelings were seriously skewed. The therapist came up with… Continue reading Color Coded Feelings
BALANCE
When life gives you sunshine don't go chasing after the rain. I have what I think is my strangest problem ever. My time is overscheduled, all with things I desperately want to do. I work 20 hours a week, so what could congest my week that much? Just what I asked myself. First, there is… Continue reading BALANCE
Graduation Part 2
A year without therapy Well, it has been a year since I ended 14 ½ years of therapy. I worried I might fall apart. That without the support and accountability—I didn’t know whether I could stay stable on my own. The truth is, I am not on my own. I have my sister, friends, and… Continue reading Graduation Part 2
Falling Apart
My Journey Through Self Injuring Phone by Deborah Adams. Copywrite 2021 I met Chris when I was 16. He was a friend of a friend. I felt a connection unlike any I had ever felt before. I wanted to know him, to spend time with him, to matter to him. Don’t confuse the way I… Continue reading Falling Apart
THERAPY: CRUTCH OR CAST
Deborah Adams I have spent most of my adult life in therapy. First, as a Junior in high school. Then, when my close friend was in a car accident and almost died when I was 19. I had, for lack of a better word, a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t function. Luckily for me, the owner… Continue reading THERAPY: CRUTCH OR CAST
Graduation
Today I said goodbye to Jonna, my therapist of 14 ½ years (halves are always important to me). I had four weeks of notice. Not a lot of time to wrap up all the loose ends. I thought I would be devastated. I thought I might break down and cry. Certainly, there were nights in… Continue reading Graduation
Winning Over Shame 