Holding opposite feelings in the holiday season. There is so much good happening in my life right now. Even things that seem bad are working toward a happy trajectory. To have this undercurrent of a heavy weight pulling me down is so hard. It’s not that this feeling is entirely new. It is just that… Continue reading Blessed; Yet Still Depressed
Tag: survivor
Some More About My Book
From the back cover of Winning Over Shame--Overcoming Sexual, Emotional, and Psychological Abuse Are you ready to release the shame you hold because of someone else’s sins? This book can help. Winning Over Shame follows the life of Debi Adams. From unrelenting sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse as a child to a 12-year relationship that… Continue reading Some More About My Book
Three Grooves In My Mind
On making a high-stake decision. My Situation: Have you ever had the experience of reacting without thinking? I believe there are grooves in my mind. They are old, ingrained habits. Those habits pop up under stress. You know, those times you don’t have the energy to think through your reactions. I was recently told by… Continue reading Three Grooves In My Mind
My Mother, my Monster; My Mother, my Friend.
Expectations, for good or for bad, can make all the difference. Not loved for who I am When I was a child, my mother was not the warm and cuddly type. By the time I was 3 or 4, I realized she would not keep me safe in the world. As I shared in my… Continue reading My Mother, my Monster; My Mother, my Friend.
Feelings Phobia
When emotions are so huge you've got to push them All down For years, I defined myself as phobic of emotional pain. Even the hint that the pain lay ahead was enough to make me mentally run away. I lost far too much time being dissociated. Like any proper phobia, just thinking about confronting it… Continue reading Feelings Phobia
Anger- Why We Would Rather Blame Ourselves
As shame has been fading away, I have found anger rising in its place. Anger has always been a tough one for me. Tough to feel, and tough to tolerate from others. So, I would turn that anger inward. Of course, that becomes depression. That depression held me captive. I made it all about me,… Continue reading Anger- Why We Would Rather Blame Ourselves
So, Debi, You Wrote a Book…
Why you want to read "Winning Over Shame--Overcoming Sexual, Emotional, and Psychological abuse. If you enjoy the articles on this blog, I believe you will gain much from reading the book. It covers my early childhood in more detail. It also follows me as I grew up saddled with the pain and shame of the… Continue reading So, Debi, You Wrote a Book…
My Body’s Betrayal
When Pain is a Source of Arousal When my father abducted me right after my 9th birthday, he had already been grooming me for at least 2 years. He left me with a group of 3 men and 2 women that I think of and refer to as THEY. They were true sadists. I do… Continue reading My Body’s Betrayal
Random Reinforcement
Waiting for me to get up. Copyright Debi Adams 2022 When you are training a dog, or in my case, a person, there are a variety of reinforcement techniques you can use. You can reward the dog, (or me as a child), every time they do something. With this, the dog, (or me as a… Continue reading Random Reinforcement
And Now, Something Totally Different
My book ends with my first day of total happiness. For most of my life, even when I was happy, there was a heaviness behind it. There was always pain. A good day was when I woke up, vaguely disappointed that there was another day. On a bad day, it was a heavy, desperate sort… Continue reading And Now, Something Totally Different
Winning Over Shame 